from Diya, with love

New Years Day . I want to light up the world like no one else can. To be better than I was, greater than I am.  I want to feel everything so deeply it burns right through me but I don't want to feel the pain that comes with playing with fire.  I want to learn from my pain and grow into my own skin, but I don't want to suffer. I want to be as vibrant as the night sky, with all its little lights shining; they come together to make the most beautiful arrays of light; they inspire me to span the universe. I want to conquer my fears and live life by my own terms. I want everyone to love me when I'm not even sure how to love myself. I want to be amazing at writing, want my words to spark emotions in people they can't decipher, want to inspire at least one person out there to love, to live, when I never even learned proper grammar. I want to know things for sure, escape my indecision, but I'm not wholeheartedly set on that. I want to want more things, but I hold ...

  Every time I sit on a swing set I get taken back to the days when I would fly high; race through the clouds accompanied by my childhood friends. I'm reminded of the way two of us would sit together, or climb the metal bars that held our world together. The way each of us would try to stand while rocking forward and backward, from side to side. A constant rhythm to remind us that some things would always stay the same even a we grew.   But as our heads got further and further from the ground, the closer we grew to our roots. Swing sets became the venue for late night conversations about the things we've learned and the hardships we face. An intersection of two different worlds, intertwining in the most unexpected ways.   So now when I sit on a swing set I do not fly anymore. I am grounded. But with my head still in the clouds I am reminded of how much I've grown.