Ambitious

New Years Day .
I want to light up the world like no one else can. To be better than I was, greater than I am. 
I want to feel everything so deeply it burns right through me but I don't want to feel the pain that comes with playing with fire. 
I want to learn from my pain and grow into my own skin, but I don't want to suffer.
I want to be as vibrant as the night sky, with all its little lights shining; they come together to make the most beautiful arrays of light; they inspire me to span the universe.
I want to conquer my fears and live life by my own terms.
I want everyone to love me when I'm not even sure how to love myself.
I want to be amazing at writing, want my words to spark emotions in people they can't decipher, want to inspire at least one person out there to love, to live, when I never even learned proper grammar.
I want to know things for sure, escape my indecision, but I'm not wholeheartedly set on that.
I want to want more things, but I hold myself back to avoid getting disappointed.
I want to want good for other people, but all I can think about is myself.
I want to make fewer mistakes that involve and affect the people around me.
I want to be more intentional, stop wondering where my hours went and how, but I sit at the end of the day again not knowing what I've done.
I want to be someone I look up to. Someone who does great things for herself and other people.
I want to stop feeling so anxious about everything I do and worrying about the opinions of other people.
I want to know why everything happens.
I want my skin to stop looking like the surface of the moon.
More than anything else, I want to be happy.

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