from Diya, with love

As I lie on the floor all alone, I think about beautiful people who deserved the world but got so much less. My heart feels as heavy as lead, so for once I try to go with my head. I can't see the stars now; these clouds are too thick, so for now, I'm just going to choose to believe in their faint silver lining. I'm trying my best to not blame myself for everything. It's not your fault when someone doesn't acknowledge their mistakes. When someone you love has changed for the worse and you have no choice but to leave. You can say no to the kind of love that doesn't deserve you. It still hurts though. I know things will be okay. I don't want things to just be okay. I want them to be amazing. I want to feel a kind of joy that doesn't have limits. Elation even greater than anything I've ever experienced before. I want to be content with who I am while pushing past my limits. I want to stop wanting everything but not wanting to work for it. To all my...

And with every thing I understand a little better, it's like I understand something else a little less. A new gray area arrives with a new perspective and leaves me wondering what it is I'm completely oblivious to. ~ not the greatest feeling ever

The happiness we knew together is gone, Infinite possibilities But now there are none. The mourning hits me in waves. They're further apart now but each one carries the weight of everything we were. I come apart and you're not there to keep me together. It's my responsibility now to understand my heart, it's my responsibility to redefine the world. For everything I know and everything I believe, so much I do is for you All the emotions I know now, I've experienced love and I know how ~  my thoughts make more sense in my heart