As I lie on the floor all alone, I think about beautiful people who deserved the world but got so much less. My heart feels as heavy as lead, so for once I try to go with my head.
I can't see the stars now; these clouds are too thick, so for now, I'm just going to choose to believe in their faint silver lining.
I'm trying my best to not blame myself for everything. It's not your fault when someone doesn't acknowledge their mistakes. When someone you love has changed for the worse and you have no choice but to leave. You can say no to the kind of love that doesn't deserve you.
It still hurts though.
I know things will be okay. I don't want things to just be okay. I want them to be amazing. I want to feel a kind of joy that doesn't have limits. Elation even greater than anything I've ever experienced before. I want to be content with who I am while pushing past my limits. I want to stop wanting everything but not wanting to work for it.
To all my loves, I wish you were here just to see me at my best, to see all the wonderful things I can do. It's getting hard to believe in myself with every minute that passes. But I know I can do it.

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