Progress

It was only a split second when I felt it. Maybe even less.
It was a moment when I thought a single bad thought about myself, but immediately recounted all the ways in which I've proven to myself that it was wrong.
And then I let it go.
At that moment, I realized how, even a year ago, I would have accepted that I was, indeed, all the horrifying things that I thought I was in my darkest moments.
And then I thought of you.
Because I realized, it's all because of you. You are the reason I know my worth, and why I know now to never be satisfied with any less. You've taught me to stand up for myself, despite how uncomfortable it makes me. Because you were the first to see in me what no one ever saw before, and to tell me what it was. To tell me how truly and utterly amazing you thought I was.
The tears didn't begin until I started to write, because I realize who I've become, and how you've changed me.
For the better. You've changed me for the better. You inspired to want to be better than I am, greater than I was.
And now I know never to settle for less than what I deserve. For less than what I want.
no matter how difficult that may be

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

16 Things I've Learned at 16 💖

Not everyone shares the same ideals you do. Even though one of your priorities has always been being kind to everyone, you have met people whose only aims were to tear other people down. People always change, whether for better or for worse. They only ever willingly change when they can see what they’re doing wrong. Speaking badly about other people only makes you feel worse in the long run. Watch your words; you’re the only one accountable for them. If you find a certain trait that makes you lose respect for someone, deal with it and try your best never to do it yourself. There are some lessons that you have to learn more than once for them to finally stick. Don’t beat yourself up for it. You’re much harder on yourself than you should be. Standing up for yourself is always scary, especially when you feel like you’ll be alone doing so. You don’t have to let people walk all over you because retaliating in some way feels like it could lead to someone getting hurt.  People expr...
Read more

Let’s Talk About Bullying

Image
“Chloe” is evil. And horrible. And shouldn’t be alive. 1:29 am; Wednesday, June 10 “Middle school me.” That’s who she’s talking to. “Chloe” wrote this in middle school.  Today I want to talk about bullying. Two days ago, I got into an altercation with a friend of mine. Granted, I said something that remains uncalled for, and even if I was simply speaking my mind, this was not the right time to voice my opinion. Of course, he assumed that I said this just to try and get my way.  My blood ran cold. That wasn’t my intention. As tears welled up in my eyes, I tried to explain what I meant (not very well oops), apologized for hurting him, and ended the conversation shortly after.  But why did the idea that I was being manipulative affect me so much? I knew I wasn’t trying to be manipulative, and that’s the only thing that should matter, right?  And just like that, I’m running in circles in my mind, trying to figure out whether I can trust myself, and whether I’m evil, or h...
Read more

Swings

  Every time I sit on a swing set I get taken back to the days when I would fly high; race through the clouds accompanied by my childhood friends. I'm reminded of the way two of us would sit together, or climb the metal bars that held our world together. The way each of us would try to stand while rocking forward and backward, from side to side. A constant rhythm to remind us that some things would always stay the same even a we grew.   But as our heads got further and further from the ground, the closer we grew to our roots. Swing sets became the venue for late night conversations about the things we've learned and the hardships we face. An intersection of two different worlds, intertwining in the most unexpected ways.   So now when I sit on a swing set I do not fly anymore. I am grounded. But with my head still in the clouds I am reminded of how much I've grown.  
Read more